Not the normal girl…

I have a very close friend who loves to go to the grocery store.  She loves to cook, and therefore browses the store with love, looking for that next culinary adventure.  I have more than a few friends like that, actually.

I do love to eat, and I do love amazing food.  But it doesn’t come from me.  I dig out a post it note with absolute disgust when the fridge gets pathetically skinny, knowing that I need to go to that place with the carts and the aisles and the endless cans and packages.   I go out of guilt, because you can only stop for Sonic and Dairy Queen so many times before your family starts to dry heave.

My sister in law adores cleaning.  Kind of fanatically, actually, I mean she has days assigned to certain parts of the house.  But my point is, she enjoys it.  She loves that feeling of a clean house.  Her house is so immaculate, that when I walk in and she gets all embarrassed over some invisible piece of lint or a pillow on the chair instead of the couch…I want to bury my head in shame.

My house is a perpetual experience in chaos.  I would love to say it’s just clutter.  I would kill to say it’s actually clean.  But it isn’t.  I have earthtoned tile for a reason, because I know how long it’s going to be between mopping.  I have a dog that can generate two of herself in dog hair every three days, and that is something that should be swept every day but isn’t.  I do pretty well on the laundry, but towels only get folded when the cabinet is empty, and the dining room table we never use only gets swiped clean of the boxes / paperwork / school notes / book notes / random whatevers that land there daily in the universal junk pile…when we have company coming.  Ditto to the mopping.  

I would give my left foot for a maid.  And I pick that appendage because my left foot always gives me grief anyway so what the hell.

It’s not that I don’t want to love to cook.  It’s not that I don’t want to live in a cleaned and primped house.  I would love both.  I have approximately four dishes that I do well, and I have to spread them out or my family will be on to the fact that I really do suck.   I love it when my house is clean, I just unfortunately don’t love the “doing it” portion of that equation.  I barely get writing time as it is, so I’m feeling pretty darn domestic if I get off work, go to the stinking store, cook and do laundry and write something beyond a paragraph all in one night.

So… tell me about you.  Are other people like you?  Can you invite people over without a panic attack?   Can you cook more than spaghetti?




About Sharla Lovelace

Writer of romantic women's fiction. Wife, mom, and wonderwoman...without the boobs. National Bestselling Author of THE REASON IS YOU, BEFORE AND EVER SINCE, and the e-novella JUST ONE DAY. Lover of anything red.

Posted on October 11, 2011, in Sharla Lovelace and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. Ohmygoodness, Sharla, you have just written my biography! I’d love to “love to clean” but I hate it and don’t do it. What I DO do, is assign the kids housecleaning chores so that the bathrooms get cleaned and the garbage cans emptied. I do the dishes, the wash, and the bills, and I make dinner most of the time. But I don’t much like to cook, so my husband will bbq the chicken and I’ll make the rice and salad. That’s about it.
    The rest of my time I spend writing and doing social media stuff. I wouldn’t be embarrassed if someone came over unexpectedly, but there is dog hair all over from our two giant labs and I try to keep up with vacuuming it – most of the time.
    I just feel that it’s a waste of my time to over-clean and to be anal. All the rest of my FIVE sisters got that gene. It passed me by….

  2. For the dog hair I would suggest a Roomba! The wife & I have an inside cat & dog & we were sweeping every weekend only to have it return to how it was within an hour of the sweeping. It is a bit expensive but we haven’t swept since we purchased it & the house looks freshly swept every morning!

  3. Does it make you feel better knowing you’re not alone? It should 🙂

  4. If I had a roll in the Odd Couple, I would be Oscar. Never the ever-perfect house for this gal! Then there is my deep love for cooking and baking. Love it with a passion and do it very well. My parents, knowing this, would take requests for my apple and pumpkin pies each holiday season and with the stipulation that I didn’t have to wash or clean up after myself, I began the ritual of dozens of pies for Thanksgiving and hundreds of cookies and pastries for Christmas. To this day, I’d rather cook or bake than clean. It reminds me of writing. When I cook I can play with ingredients and go wild, when I bake I follow a set of rules so the outcome is always perfect. Like the draft and the rewrite, only when my hands are busy (NOT cleaning) my mind is at peace 🙂

  5. Sharla, I rotate the same six dishes every week (on the 7th day, it’s a grab night). I own a Roomba and love it. You are in excellent company, my dear, and so am I. 🙂

  6. I want a Roomba! Or a cleaning woman. I live with two labs, two grown sons, a three year old grandson and my husband. Since I am “retired” I am the maid/cleaning lady/cook.
    I spend two hours in the morning “cleaning up” after all of them. when I am “in the zone” and writing, I ignore the house and do not invite anyone in the house. Dog hair, toys, dishes, towels, shoes clutter the floors.
    I shut myself in my office (which is clean) and ignore the house.
    One cannot have a clean house snd write, too. Impossible! Good to hear so many have same problems!!!
    H-m-m a Roomba or a new computer??

  7. I am the kind of gal who’s fine with spontaneous company….when my house is a mess, my favorite line is, “Excuse the mess, we actually LIVE here.” I’m uncomfortable in perfectly clean houses…i can’t figure out where they spend their time?!?

    That’s my excuse, and I’m sticking with it…

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